35 Weeks: Who's Your Daddy?


Dear Babies,

You're probably wondering about that voice that talks to you every morning. Or maybe you're curious about those strong hands that gently massage oil on your home at bedtime. That's the voice and hands of your Daddy.

You're not going to meet him at who he is today but let me tell you a little about who he was before you were born.

Your Daddy is my bestfriend. We met at Publix, a grocery store in Florida. He loves playing guitar, soccer, and an occasional video game. He's a really hard worker and can fix just about anything that breaks. He's super calm and nothing really worries him now, I'm not sure how that'll change once you are born though. Your Daddy is gentle and slow to anger. He's very respectful to everyone yet strong and assertive when he needs to be. Your Daddy loves me and I know he'll love you with all he has to give.

Your Daddy is the most caring man I know. Today after he made us breakfast I got sick to my stomach and puked it all up. I've only gotten sick a handful of times in this last trimester of carrying you two and your Daddy is usually at work. Today he was here and cleaned up after our mess. He also made us more breakfast and gave us liquids to keep away pesky contractions. He didn't even flinch and helped without being prompted. If you ever get sick, you'll be in good hands your Daddy will take good care of you.

If it's not apparent to you yet, your Daddy loves you. He works hard daily to provide for all the needs I have and your needs that we can foresee. Your Daddy loves the Lord is already excited to share his truths with you. Your Daddy calls to check on us daily and ask me to send picture of my belly often to make sure you are okay.

I'd say you babes are blessed because your Daddy is simply amazing. You can thank me for marrying him later. 


34 Weeks: Still Alive Still Pregnant


I know it's been a while since I updated you all with the happenings of life. Please forgive me for this hiatus as it was unplanned. I am currently experiencing what the books like to call nesting, the urge came over me like a hurricane and I am scrambling to get so many things done. We are now into the single digit weeks of expecting the twins and it's slightly overwhelming.

In all honesty the news we received in the second trimester really pumped the breaks on my excitement in preparing for the babies. Yes I'm faith lead, yes I believe in the power of Christ but I am also human. I struggled to find my footing and to enjoy preparing for my babies, that coupled with my husbands work schedule left us at a screeching halt on the nursery planning. I felt like I couldn't allow myself to dream or get excited because I didn't know what that news really meant for our family. As the weeks/months went on I was finally able to push past those feelings. I saw so much tragedy and it opened my eyes to the fact that I should savor these moments. So today as I type this I am switching between pages on etsy and doodling out a nursery design to complete their little space. 

I don't know how much longer I will be pregnant and the element of surprise that comes with delivery throws me a little. I like to have solid plans and just like with planning a baby I'm sure delivery will come in God's timing. So we wait for the wonderful surprise that will be their birth. We will learn their sexes and see their faces in just a few weeks. At 34 weeks my babies are strong reaffirming with every kick, roll and swish that they are not who the doctor says they are but who our creator says they are. They fearfully and wonderfully made created in HIS image.

About the Pregnancy:

How I'm Feeling? Huge. My bones are creaking and my body aches. I thank my Heavenly Father for the experience of pregnancy. These are the aches and pains of creating life. 

How far along? 34 weeks.

Babies are the size of:  A cabbage. Weighing in at 5lbs and 5lb 1oz. That's 10lbs of baby in me already plus all the extras!

Total weight gain: I've requested not to know. I'm eating healthy and believing my body will gain what it needs to feed our babies. New doctor made no comments about my weight. Love him even more!

Maternity clothes?  Yes.

Stretch marks?  None, but skin feels like its riping. Maybe soon?!

Sleep: I hope I can sleep when the babies come.

Exercise: Swimming, soothes my achy body.

Miss Anything: Sleep and being able to sit up unassisted.

Movement: Yes, constant baby judo and tidal waves...hiccups.

Food cravings: Butternut Squash Soup, Materva, and Grapes

Anything making you queasy or sick: Eating too much too fast.

Belly Button In or Out: In but definitely flattening.

Rings On or Off: On.

Labor Signs: Braxton Hicks....still.

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy but weepy sometimes.

Looking forward to: Finishing the nursery.

31 Weeks: Grateful


I'm just that - grateful. There has been so much heartache in the lives of so many of my friends I have nothing to express except gratitude in my own life. Sure there are things going on in my life that aren't so great but they pale in comparison to infant loss, premature childbirth, miscarriage, losing a husband in your two week wait and the hard unknowns of infertility. Yes all these horrid things have happened since the first day of October to several people I know. 

I have been wanting to run away from all the bad news I've heard. But God doesn't want us to run and hide yet to stand and bear each other's burdens. Standing in the thick of it with friends and family members through their struggles has a great way of putting perspective in your own life.

I had a few days where I found myself envying the health of my friend's twins. When she lost them I felt devastating grief for her yet gratitude in my own situation because I was reminded it could be worst. A few weeks ago a sister in our TTC community lost her husband in a car accident. Shortly after his death she found out their IVF was successful, she is pregnant. It's been on my mind to complain about how much my husband has been working and how little we see each other, but at least he comes home. This woman conceived her long awaited child who will never know it's father. She's received and lost great loves in the blink of an eye.

I know how easy it is to get wrapped up in your own life. I've done it, I do it - but being intertwined in the lives of others reminds me it's not that bad. I encourage you to look outside of your problems and gain some perspective you may see it's really not as bad as it seems. I've found great joy in holding hands both figuratively and literally with my friends as they navigate through struggles. Our relationships thrive, my friends survive, and God gets so much glory.

About the Pregnancy:

How I'm Feeling? Like a whale! Bloop bloop bloop! I wouldn't change a thing. I felt huge before but that didn't come with a reason. Right now I'm building two humans and it feels awfully good to be chunky for a purpose.  

How far along? 31 weeks.

Babies are the size of:  A pineapple.

Total weight gain: I've requested not to know. I'm eating healthy and believing my body will gain what it needs to feed our babies. New doctor made no comments about my weight. Love him even more!

Maternity clothes?  Yes.

Stretch marks?  None, but skin feels like its riping. Maybe soon?!

Sleep: No sleep, no naps...don't know how I'm surviving.

Exercise: Yes walking to the fridge and to the car before and after appointments.

Miss Anything: Eating a full plate of food and sleeping on my back.

Movement: Yes, constant baby judo and tidal waves...hiccups.

Food cravings: Orange Juice, Ice cold water, sushi....the vegan kind.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Eating too much too fast.

Belly Button In or Out: In but definitely flattening.

Rings On or Off: On.

Labor Signs: Braxton Hicks....still.

Happy or Moody most of the time: Other than a major meltdown Friday night I feel happy. Thankfully my husband forgives me and God does too.

Looking forward to: Maternity pictures that happened this past Saturday!

29 & 30 weeks: Showered With Love


I could hardly sleep the night of October 3rd. It has been so many years since I first envisioned what our baby shower would be like. The anticipation was killing me and I got absolutely no sleep the night before. When the sun came up in the morning I was still awake and drifted off to sleep for about an hour or two. My mind was racing with all the last minute things I needed to do before celebrating with my friends and family that night. 

My best friend and mom were in charge of getting all the shower details together. I told them I didn't want to know anything but gave them the ideas that were floating around in my head. By 1pm on October 4th the anticipation and food cravings were killing me. I had been craving the cake that we had tried weeks earlier and I was ready to party.

I put on my dress, arched my eyebrows, dusted on some bronzer and headed out. My heart was pounding so fast as we came up to the Italian restaurant. I couldn't believe this was it. My husband helped me out of the car and we headed in. I arrived 30 minutes earlier just to see all that they had put together before guest arrived. As soon as I got a glimpse of the room I began to cry. It was all that I could have asked for and more. My heart was completely overwhelmed with just the thought of celebrating our journey to parenthood. I hugged my best friend and told her I was so grateful for her help and love.

The night was wonderful - friends and family all showed up and behaved. It was a wonderful gathering of men and women. My husband and I felt so much love and joy as we were being celebrated and welcomed into parenthood. This is the one time that infertility didn't cast a shadow over our experience. Many people in the room knew our journey but many of them didn't. I didn't take the time to make a huge announcement like I thought I would years earlier. We didn't want infertility to have any of the spotlight.

Some things about our shower:

Our theme was Hollywood.

Our guest list was CoEd - for men and women, no kids.

We asked guest not to wrap their gifts or bring cards.

We asked for books in lieu of cards to start a library for the babies.

The shower was held at a beautiful Italian restaurant.

About the Pregnancy:

How I'm Feeling? Stuffed but happy. I am amazed at my body. I was told that I needed to take it easy now just a few days after the shower. So I am resting more to give my body the fuel it needs to grow these babies to term. Everything on me continues to grow, my ribs and skin hurt like my belly is doubling in size. Babies are growing fast and I can feel that they are longer and stronger. 

How far along? 30 weeks today. Measuring 37 weeks.

Babies are the size of:  A butternut squash. Both babies are weighing 3lbs and possibly slightly over that now.

Total weight gain: I've requested not to know. I'm eating healthy and believing my body will gain what it needs to feed our babies. New doctor made no comments about my weight. Love him even more!

Maternity clothes?  Yes.

Stretch marks?  None.

Sleep: Besides Naps sleep is elusive. How I crave thee 

Exercise: What's that?

Miss Anything:  Sleep

Movement: Yes, constant baby judo and tidal waves...hiccups.

Food cravings: Cold fruit, any kind really, pancakes and spaghetti.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Not this week.

Belly Button In or Out: In but definitely flattening.

Rings On or Off: On.

Labor Signs: Braxton Hicks....still.

Happy or Moody most of the time: Definitely moody most of the time. I don't know what happened. 

Looking forward to: Finishing the nursery I am in total nesting mode now. I need to finish everything for the babies in the next 5 minutes lol.

28 Weeks: Ello 3rd Trimester


Wow! Twenty Eight weeks? Honestly if I wasn't dealing with the switching of doctors and unpleasant things during this pregnancy I wouldn't believe it was happening to me. Today the babies roll, kick, hiccup, and punch each other - I love it.

My prayer for boredom for the rest of this pregnancy has been answered thus far. Besides routine appointments with three doctors everything else has been smooth flowing. I am so grateful to God for this all. In my last post I shared that we had done the MRI. I have no news on the results.. I have not seen the doctor who ordered those test yet. When I have some news I will share here on the blog.

I finally feel bliss as we get ready to tackle these last few weeks of pregnancy and prepare for the arrival of our Baby Bears. We have just 12 weeks left, and yes I know that on average twins come early - but honestly nothing has been average about my pregnancy so I don't lump myself into those neat little boxes that the doctors design. I am still believing my babies will make it fullterm and that my body will open on it's own to let them out. So far nothing has happened to make me believe otherwise.

I don't have a report on how large the babies are yet, that will come in a few days. However I did get the news from my OB that my uterus is now measuring at 35 weeks. That's the size of an almost 9 month pregnant uterus, eek! Although most people comment on how I am carrying small for twins they have no idea how my insides feel. My babies have decided they rather be closer to my heart so they have grown upwards instead of out, this leaves little room for food or air!

Overall I am feeling pretty good. I prefer the day over night because that's when I am most comfortable. Sleeping is hard, I can hardly get comfortable and my belly is just really heavy. Oh how I long for sleep in a lazy boy. The sleepless nights have served as good practice for the sleepless nights to come. My body seems to be handling everything quite well. I don't have pregnancy diabetes, I am not swelling, but I have gained good amount of weight. I still ask not to know my weight but I was told by my nurse yesterday to keep going. It's reassuring to hear from doctors and nurses that my babies need nourishment and I am being encouraged to give them what they need. Eating has been a challenge because I can only eat small amount every 1-2 hours but its great not being on a restricted diet.

Speaking of food, we have some exciting things coming up this first week of October and I am so glad. On Saturday the 4th my hubby and I will be attending our baby shower. I will have lots of cake to celebrate. On the Monday the 6th we will have our 3D/4D ultrasound and on Tuesday the 7th my hubby turns one year older. He will be the same age as Jesus. Do any of you know how old that is?

Lastly I want to apologize for the mix up when the blog was private a few days ago. I am preparing for some big changes on the blog and we were doing a little maintenance. My apologies. Thank you all for reading, praying, texting, and emailing me. I really do love and appreciate you all.

27 Weeks: Beautifully Flawed

Sweet Nose & Baby Lips

At 27 years old, I'm 27 weeks pregnant. When my birthday came this year I was recovering from having my first surgery. I didn't go out to dinner or even sip a glass of wine. I was pretty bloated and crampy - coasting sky high on pain medicine. Even with all that I knew then, I never imagined I would be here now - pregnant.

On this very day of our 27th week of pregnancy I had the MRI. This would be the final step in the process of seeing what is really going on with our little love while I'm pregnant. I don't know what the results are going to be and the anxiety I had of facing that appointment has dissipated. I prayed really hard today before and during the appointment. I laid on a barely cushioned slab for 2.5 hours as I was drawn in and out of a dark hole. My hips and sides burned as the weight of my uterus hung unsupported. The pain was worth it to know that when my sweetheart is born s/he won't have to leave my side. I will take any misery for this little one so that on B-Day we can bond and nurse in peace. I prayed 2 Timothy 1:17 the entire time as the noise from the machine swirled around me. Eventually peace overcame me and I dozed in and out of sleep. Somewhere between wake and sleep I heard the words "beautifully flawed".

Whether or not a condition is confirmed or denied both of my babies and myself are beautifully flawed. We were made beautiful by our Creator but by living in a fallen world we face things we didn't expect and things that God does not want for us. As we face frightening challenges its so important to remember that we are not alone. Sometimes our friends, spouses, and families are not enough to carry us through - during those times God wants to be our number one. I felt Him beckoning me nearer to Him today, reminding me that no matter what the test reveals he's a big enough God to equip me with whatever we need. My faith is not in my wonderful doctor but in the Savior who died for healing, forgiveness, and our redemption.

I'm 27 years old and 27 weeks pregnant with two miracles, that's enough for me to know that God's got this.

How far along? 27 weeks today.

Babies are the size of:  A CucumberTotal weight gain: I've requested not to know. I'm eating healthy and believing my body will gain what it needs to feed our babies. New doctor made no comments about my weight. Love him even more!Maternity clothes?  Yes.Stretch marks?  None.Sleep: Besides Naps sleep is elusive. How I crave thee Exercise: What's that?Miss Anything:  A full nights sleep.   Movement: Yes, constant baby judo and tidal waves...hiccups.Food cravings: Pizza and Orange Juice! Don't judge me.Anything making you queasy or sick: Not this week.Belly Button In or Out: In but definitely flattening.Rings On or Off: On.Labor Signs: Braxton Hicks....still.Happy or Moody most of the time: That depends on if I'm hot, hungry or sleepy.Looking forward to: My 28 week appointment, we'll see the babies in 3/4D! Come faster please I want to see sweet cheeks and button noses.

Faithful Friday: All Lies

Hey Lovelies. This Friday I am collaborating with six wonderful bloggers to talk about the lies we have been facing in our lives. I hope you will stop by and check it out as I am sure there will be some encouragement for you there and we could always use an encouraging word too. Click HERE to read the post.

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