29 & 30 weeks: Showered With Love


I could hardly sleep the night of October 3rd. It has been so many years since I first envisioned what our baby shower would be like. The anticipation was killing me and I got absolutely no sleep the night before. When the sun came up in the morning I was still awake and drifted off to sleep for about an hour or two. My mind was racing with all the last minute things I needed to do before celebrating with my friends and family that night. 

My best friend and mom were in charge of getting all the shower details together. I told them I didn't want to know anything but gave them the ideas that were floating around in my head. By 1pm on October 4th the anticipation and food cravings were killing me. I had been craving the cake that we had tried weeks earlier and I was ready to party.

I put on my dress, arched my eyebrows, dusted on some bronzer and headed out. My heart was pounding so fast as we came up to the Italian restaurant. I couldn't believe this was it. My husband helped me out of the car and we headed in. I arrived 30 minutes earlier just to see all that they had put together before guest arrived. As soon as I got a glimpse of the room I began to cry. It was all that I could have asked for and more. My heart was completely overwhelmed with just the thought of celebrating our journey to parenthood. I hugged my best friend and told her I was so grateful for her help and love.

The night was wonderful - friends and family all showed up and behaved. It was a wonderful gathering of men and women. My husband and I felt so much love and joy as we were being celebrated and welcomed into parenthood. This is the one time that infertility didn't cast a shadow over our experience. Many people in the room knew our journey but many of them didn't. I didn't take the time to make a huge announcement like I thought I would years earlier. We didn't want infertility to have any of the spotlight.

Some things about our shower:

Our theme was Hollywood.

Our guest list was CoEd - for men and women, no kids.

We asked guest not to wrap their gifts or bring cards.

We asked for books in lieu of cards to start a library for the babies.

The shower was held at a beautiful Italian restaurant.

About the Pregnancy:

How I'm Feeling? Stuffed but happy. I am amazed at my body. I was told that I needed to take it easy now just a few days after the shower. So I am resting more to give my body the fuel it needs to grow these babies to term. Everything on me continues to grow, my ribs and skin hurt like my belly is doubling in size. Babies are growing fast and I can feel that they are longer and stronger. 

How far along? 30 weeks today. Measuring 37 weeks.

Babies are the size of:  A butternut squash. Both babies are weighing 3lbs and possibly slightly over that now.

Total weight gain: I've requested not to know. I'm eating healthy and believing my body will gain what it needs to feed our babies. New doctor made no comments about my weight. Love him even more!

Maternity clothes?  Yes.

Stretch marks?  None.

Sleep: Besides Naps sleep is elusive. How I crave thee 

Exercise: What's that?

Miss Anything:  Sleep

Movement: Yes, constant baby judo and tidal waves...hiccups.

Food cravings: Cold fruit, any kind really, pancakes and spaghetti.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Not this week.

Belly Button In or Out: In but definitely flattening.

Rings On or Off: On.

Labor Signs: Braxton Hicks....still.

Happy or Moody most of the time: Definitely moody most of the time. I don't know what happened. 

Looking forward to: Finishing the nursery I am in total nesting mode now. I need to finish everything for the babies in the next 5 minutes lol.

28 Weeks: Ello 3rd Trimester


Wow! Twenty Eight weeks? Honestly if I wasn't dealing with the switching of doctors and unpleasant things during this pregnancy I wouldn't believe it was happening to me. Today the babies roll, kick, hiccup, and punch each other - I love it.

My prayer for boredom for the rest of this pregnancy has been answered thus far. Besides routine appointments with three doctors everything else has been smooth flowing. I am so grateful to God for this all. In my last post I shared that we had done the MRI. I have no news on the results.. I have not seen the doctor who ordered those test yet. When I have some news I will share here on the blog.

I finally feel bliss as we get ready to tackle these last few weeks of pregnancy and prepare for the arrival of our Baby Bears. We have just 12 weeks left, and yes I know that on average twins come early - but honestly nothing has been average about my pregnancy so I don't lump myself into those neat little boxes that the doctors design. I am still believing my babies will make it fullterm and that my body will open on it's own to let them out. So far nothing has happened to make me believe otherwise.

I don't have a report on how large the babies are yet, that will come in a few days. However I did get the news from my OB that my uterus is now measuring at 35 weeks. That's the size of an almost 9 month pregnant uterus, eek! Although most people comment on how I am carrying small for twins they have no idea how my insides feel. My babies have decided they rather be closer to my heart so they have grown upwards instead of out, this leaves little room for food or air!

Overall I am feeling pretty good. I prefer the day over night because that's when I am most comfortable. Sleeping is hard, I can hardly get comfortable and my belly is just really heavy. Oh how I long for sleep in a lazy boy. The sleepless nights have served as good practice for the sleepless nights to come. My body seems to be handling everything quite well. I don't have pregnancy diabetes, I am not swelling, but I have gained good amount of weight. I still ask not to know my weight but I was told by my nurse yesterday to keep going. It's reassuring to hear from doctors and nurses that my babies need nourishment and I am being encouraged to give them what they need. Eating has been a challenge because I can only eat small amount every 1-2 hours but its great not being on a restricted diet.

Speaking of food, we have some exciting things coming up this first week of October and I am so glad. On Saturday the 4th my hubby and I will be attending our baby shower. I will have lots of cake to celebrate. On the Monday the 6th we will have our 3D/4D ultrasound and on Tuesday the 7th my hubby turns one year older. He will be the same age as Jesus. Do any of you know how old that is?

Lastly I want to apologize for the mix up when the blog was private a few days ago. I am preparing for some big changes on the blog and we were doing a little maintenance. My apologies. Thank you all for reading, praying, texting, and emailing me. I really do love and appreciate you all.

27 Weeks: Beautifully Flawed

Sweet Nose & Baby Lips

At 27 years old, I'm 27 weeks pregnant. When my birthday came this year I was recovering from having my first surgery. I didn't go out to dinner or even sip a glass of wine. I was pretty bloated and crampy - coasting sky high on pain medicine. Even with all that I knew then, I never imagined I would be here now - pregnant.

On this very day of our 27th week of pregnancy I had the MRI. This would be the final step in the process of seeing what is really going on with our little love while I'm pregnant. I don't know what the results are going to be and the anxiety I had of facing that appointment has dissipated. I prayed really hard today before and during the appointment. I laid on a barely cushioned slab for 2.5 hours as I was drawn in and out of a dark hole. My hips and sides burned as the weight of my uterus hung unsupported. The pain was worth it to know that when my sweetheart is born s/he won't have to leave my side. I will take any misery for this little one so that on B-Day we can bond and nurse in peace. I prayed 2 Timothy 1:17 the entire time as the noise from the machine swirled around me. Eventually peace overcame me and I dozed in and out of sleep. Somewhere between wake and sleep I heard the words "beautifully flawed".

Whether or not a condition is confirmed or denied both of my babies and myself are beautifully flawed. We were made beautiful by our Creator but by living in a fallen world we face things we didn't expect and things that God does not want for us. As we face frightening challenges its so important to remember that we are not alone. Sometimes our friends, spouses, and families are not enough to carry us through - during those times God wants to be our number one. I felt Him beckoning me nearer to Him today, reminding me that no matter what the test reveals he's a big enough God to equip me with whatever we need. My faith is not in my wonderful doctor but in the Savior who died for healing, forgiveness, and our redemption.

I'm 27 years old and 27 weeks pregnant with two miracles, that's enough for me to know that God's got this.

How far along? 27 weeks today.

Babies are the size of:  A CucumberTotal weight gain: I've requested not to know. I'm eating healthy and believing my body will gain what it needs to feed our babies. New doctor made no comments about my weight. Love him even more!Maternity clothes?  Yes.Stretch marks?  None.Sleep: Besides Naps sleep is elusive. How I crave thee Exercise: What's that?Miss Anything:  A full nights sleep.   Movement: Yes, constant baby judo and tidal waves...hiccups.Food cravings: Pizza and Orange Juice! Don't judge me.Anything making you queasy or sick: Not this week.Belly Button In or Out: In but definitely flattening.Rings On or Off: On.Labor Signs: Braxton Hicks....still.Happy or Moody most of the time: That depends on if I'm hot, hungry or sleepy.Looking forward to: My 28 week appointment, we'll see the babies in 3/4D! Come faster please I want to see sweet cheeks and button noses.

Faithful Friday: All Lies

Hey Lovelies. This Friday I am collaborating with six wonderful bloggers to talk about the lies we have been facing in our lives. I hope you will stop by and check it out as I am sure there will be some encouragement for you there and we could always use an encouraging word too. Click HERE to read the post.

26 Weeks: The Quest


I could continue pretending that things have been all rosy on the doctor front but they haven't been. I have three doctors I love my nutritionist and perinatologist, I'm talking about my OB, again. Early in my pregnancy I told you all that I had found an OB that I honestly hated. I know hate is a strong word but that is what best describes what I was feeling in those moments. I didn't hate her as a person but I hate her mindset and manners as a doctor. I knew that she wasn't the doctor that I wanted to be in the care of so I switched to another doctor. The biggest mistake was staying in that practice. There are six doctors there and only two of them were okay with delivering twins vaginally under the best of circumstances. The other four were not okay with it.

At my last appointment with them one of the doctors who was not okay with delivering vaginally for twins let me know that they were no longer being trained for that in school. She told me it was out of her comfort zone. What I didn't know was if my doctor was not on call when I went into labor that they would not go forward with our plan of natural delivery. Instead of the other three doctors telling me about their lack of training they each tried to make me feel like I would risk the death of my babies to have a vaginal birth. They constantly talked about the risk and said nothing positive in hopes to get me on board with a scheduled c section.

My 24 weeks appointment was the last straw and I knew I needed to leave their practice all together. My intended OB was a wonderful guy who assured me that it would be simple to deliver the twins vaginally, but his colleagues weren't on the same page. So after taking my glucose test I left knowing that I needed to change doctors....again. I begin my quest for a new doctor the same day but calling around all I heard were metaphorical doors closing. "They would say how far along are you?" I answered 24 weeks, with twins. The answer was always you are too advanced in your pregnancy for us to take you on as a new patient. Even with prenatal care records? I would ask. They would say "yes even with records we could not see you." I was slowly feeling defeated and continued drowning my sorrows in pints of strawberries, what had I gotten myself into? Why did I stay with this practice for so long?

A few days later I got an email from a doula, she actually found the blog and offered to be my doula as she completes her training. I hadn't decided if I really wanted a doula but I thought it was awesome that she contacted me. We continued to chat and she asked how I was doing emotionally and I told her about my issue with the doctor, she promptly gave me a referral. I contacted the doctor and explained my situation. They told me they would be thrilled to continue my care and only performed csections when medically necessary which I totally agree with. The doctor and his colleague are on the same page, both will not allow me to elect a csection or give me a csection without a medical need.

I met with the doctor yesterday and the environment was warm and less like a cattle call. I even made a friend. I had been praying constantly before my appointment that God would just provide. I am now confident that I have the medical team I need to get the twins here in the safest and not just convenient manner. My new doctor is definitely knowledgeable where twins are concerned and continues to refresh his education by reading studies and communicating with doctors in other states. I really liked that about him. God has really been guiding me through and putting me in touch with the right people so I could get where he wants me to be.

Best news from yesterday's appointment is that the babies are thriving, my uterus is currently measuring 33 weeks pregnant and I passed my test for gestational diabetes.

How far along? 26 weeks today.
Babies are the size of:  An Eggplant.
Total weight gain: I've requested not to know. I'm eating healthy and believing my body will gain what it needs to feed our babies. New doctor made no comments about my weight. Love him even more!
Maternity clothes?  Yes.
Stretch marks?  None.
Sleep: An hour or two between trips to the loo!  

Exercise: What's that?
Miss Anything:  A full nights sleep.   

Movement: Yes, constant baby judo and tidal waves. 
Food cravings: strawberries and pizza! Don't judge me.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Not this week.
Belly Button In or Out: In but definitely flattening.
Rings On or Off: On.
Labor Signs: Pesky Braxton Hicks have started.
Happy or Moody most of the time: That depends on if I'm hot, hungry or sleepy.
Looking forward to: My 28 week appointment, we'll see the babies in 3/4D!

25 Weeks: What I've Learn About Pregnancy


Here are a few things that I have been surprised to learn while pregnant:

Not all symptoms happen to you. I didn't have sore breast, nausea, or vomiting . While that can be awesome for some people, when you've dealt with infertility an absence of symptoms can be slightly scary.

You can break a pregnancy test if you give it too much pee. Pee in a cup or limit the peeing to 5 seconds. Your test doesn't need all you've got to give.

Sometimes you won't feel pregnant. Especially if you lack the symptoms above. I've only just begun feeling pregnant all the time but I still have a few days where I get out of bed and feel normal - with a bump.

Your breast are pregnant too. They will experience various changes I rather not mention. Just know that blue veins are just the beginning.

You could be out of breath long before you ever show. Shortness of breath and heart palpitations were one of my first signs of pregnancy. It was kind of scary I thought my body was breaking down because it was trying so hard to get pregnant.

I've always thought cravings were an excuse to indulge in bad foods. I've quickly learned that everything including your taste buds change when pregnant, some food is better than none at all. 

That "pregnant glow" is accomplished by a combination of day and night time sweating.

The unwanted advice starts rolling in the minute you pee on the stick. Sift through it or tune it out - do your research but don't let anyone make decisions for you.

Your spouse may or may not experience his own symptoms. You may find it cute or annoying but if he needs more attention show him some grace.

Seeing a nutritionist during pregnancy is helpful especially if you have morning sickness or experience food aversions. It can also be helpful if you are trying to continue a vegan diet or carrying multiples.

People are fascinated by pregnant women. If you get asked dumb questions just try to laugh it off most people are genuinely interested, even men.

Leg cramps are terrifying. Point your toes up towards your knee instead of down when stretching in bed. Also calcium and magnesium comes in handy to help avoid them.

You may have graduated in the top 5% of your class but pregnancy brain can humble you - I promise!

Pregnancy after infertility is just a milestone. Your worry doesn't end there you will have new concerns for your child for 18+ years. So if you're curious, no it never gets easier!

Say goodbye to wine, warm prune juice is now your night cap.

Orgasms are possible in your sleep. Yeah I know this is TMI but before you think you're some type of weirdo know it happens to good Christian folk like me! Lol! They joys of pregnancy.

You'll try your best to be attractive and super graceful. However you should know that a lot happens during pregnancy where "air" is concerned. 

Baby kicks are awesome but the minute they stop kicking you have a whole other reason to panic.

Babies start barging in on your sex life long before they are born. Little kicks may happen at inappropriate times. You can either let them stop the show or put the little munchkin to sleep, if you get my drift.

Ive still got 15 more weeks left of this pregnancy and much more to learn. I thought sharing some of this would be fun and informative for those of you who are in the early days of expecting or still waiting on your miracle. 

How far along? 25 weeks today.

Babies are the size of:  A Cauliflower both babies are weighing in like a singleton. Punchkin is 1lb 8oz and Munchkin is 1lb 12oz. 

Total weight gain: I've requested not to know. I'm eating healthy and believing my body will gain what it needs to feed our babies.

Maternity clothes?  Yes.

Stretch marks?  None.

Sleep: An hour or two between trips to the loo!
Exercise: What's that?

Miss Anything:  A full nights sleep.
Movement: Yes, constant baby judo and tidal waves. 

Food cravings: strawberries and waffles! Not together.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Not this week.

Belly Button In or Out: In but definitely flattening.

Rings On or Off: On.

Labor Signs: Pesky Braxton Hicks have started.

Happy or Moody most of the time: That depends on if I'm hot, hungry or sleepy.

Looking forward to: Meeting with a doula. Eek!

24 Weeks: Glorious


Today I am 24 weeks pregnant, it's really baffling that I've got about 4 months left. Even though these little babies are no where near ready to face the world, today marks a huge milestone of viability for their little lives. I haven't thought much about this day because I don't count their viability by worldly standards. Even with all that's been going on I've had faith that God would not bring them out before time.

Last week it really hit me that I am pregnant. In the middle of the night when I was up to tinkle for the one thousandth time I was mesmerized by the peace of the early morning. It was quiet, our house was dark, and my husband was sound asleep. For a moment I felt alone, I was promptly interrupted by a barrage of little kicks - baby judo if you will. A sweet little reminder that the time for quiet nights would be short lived. Our little babies will be here soon.

Even with this belly it's hard to believe I'm pregnant. I have backaches, muscle spasms, headaches, constant hunger and tiredness - but I wouldn't trade this experience for the world. I've been blessed in so many aspects of things I haven't experienced during this pregnancy so I don't really complain about the ones that I have. I'm not able to walk long distances like I used to in the city and I'm finding it hard to jump into my car. I eat more than I really want to and I sleep longer than I'd like but goodness I love this experience. My body amazes me everyday with every single new development. We women are truly fearfully and wonderfully made.

How far along? 24 weeks, just completed 6 months of pregnancy.

Babies are the size of:  Ear of Corn, weighing a little over a pound each.

Total weight gain: I've requested not to know. I'm eating healthy and believing my body will gain what it needs to feed our babies.

Maternity clothes?  Yes.

Stretch marks?  None.

Sleep: An hour or two between trips to the loo!
Exercise: What's that?

Miss Anything: Not having headaches daily. Being sharp, I've become forgetful and slower at thinking. So forgive me for any grammatical errors!
Movement: Yes, constant baby judo!

Food cravings: strawberries and tacos! Not together.

Anything making you queasy or sick: The smell of chicken makes me gag even now. Apparently my babies are vegan!

Belly Button In or Out: In but definitely flattening.

Rings On or Off: On.

Labor Signs: No thank God!

Happy or Moody most of the time: That depends on if I'm hot, hungry or sleepy.

Looking forward to: Our baby shower, a last celebration before become parents.

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